Idiot Stockbrokers continue to ruin your life

So says The Daily Mash "STOCKBROKERS are preparing for a third day of running around and waving their hands in the air, shouting 'nooooooooooooooooooo!!!'.

In London, the FTSE 100 ate all its clothes and crashed its Aston Martin into the Bank of England before running around the Monument shouting 'nooooooooooooo!!!'.

Evan Davies, the BBC's economics editor, said: “The world’s stock markets are like a finely tuned barrel of eels.

“As they plunge, sea levels rise, leading to a fall in the price of dogs. Even if cat prices remain stable a recession then occurs. No one knows why.”

Davies added: “People often ask me why they have to lose their job and their home because a man in an expensive shirt made some terrible decisions. I tell them no-one knows.”"