Ridiculous children's names

The excellent Anna Raccoon has posted a piece in a similar vein to my much shorter post. Here's what I had to say:

'Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, Petal Blossom and Buddy Bear! What on earth were Jamie Oliver and Jools thinking of when they named their children? Get a grip guys! '

Here's part of what Anna Raccoon has to say:

'Mother’s Revenge?

by Gloria Smudd on September 29, 2010

Much has been made of Jamie’n’Jools Oliver’s choice of name for their new baby son (Buddy Bear) who joins Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo and Petal Blossom. It’s nice that all the little Oliver children have got chummy names that will help them get the kind of leg-up in life that having fantastically rich and famous parents couldn’t. Well, jolly good luck to ‘em all, I say.

With all the Fifi-Trixibelles, Apples, Harlows, Peaches and Romeos around, I can’t help feeling I was rather hasty in giving my own children what now seem positively pedestrian names; I can think of countless unique and attention-grabbing monikers that might have suited my children perfectly. In fact I’m convinced that parents should be able to bestow any number of additional names upon their children, reflecting their children’s unique qualities and personality traits as they emerge. And, as if that wasn’t enough, the children would HATE it which is almost enough recommendation in inself.

...

During the course of the ‘competitive parenting’ I encountered during those Playgroup/Pre-School years I spent time in the company of at least 5 mothers who would have wasted no time adding the names Gifted and Talented to the birth certificates of their quite ordinary children; the same parents would no doubt have returned to the Registery Office to add Advanced and Very Bright once their darlings reached Middle School, maybe adding Oxbridge and Harvard to the mix, just for good measure.

...

In case you’re interested, I’d love to add either Patience or Serena to my daughter’s names because she is conspicuously neither patient nor serene. I’d happily pay fee after fee at the Registery Office, adding Harpy, Ingrate, Impudence and Expenditure as the mood took me. I already think of my son as Rip (as in Van Winkle), Ravenous, Spendthrift and (from years ago) Fireman Sam. So by now my daughter could be Patience Ingrate Harpy Borstal Shouty-McClouty Fragrance real name Smudd and my son could be Rip Flatulence Ravenous Spendthrift Borstal Fireman Sam real name Smudd.

It’s a shame it’ll never catch on.'

Do read the whole of Anna Raccoon's piece, it's really funny and close to the mark.