Right, I thought, this can't be that difficult or irritating I'll give myself an hour and fill it in. All seemed well and then...
I got to Question 13 'How is your health in general?' The options being 'Very Good', 'Good', 'Fair', 'Bad' and 'Very Bad'
How do I answer that, it's a relative and subjective matter how my health is. Compared to who? Compared to Stephen Hawking I am very healthy, compared to Usain Bolt I am in dire shape. What do I answer here? I am a bit of a hypochondriac so of course when I read this question I start to feel ache in places that really shouldn't ache; my left knee seems a bit creakier than normal, I have a pain in my top right jaw etc. Do I answer 'Very Good' and potentially reduce the amount of money my local Health Authority gets from Central Government or do I answer 'Very Bad' and thus increase the amount of money that the government thinks it needs to take in taxation for the NHS? Or do I just tick 'Fair' and get on with it?
Oh dear now I have found the ethnicity questions, tricky... are Jews an ethnic group and/or a religious group? I am Jewish but I am also English. As a result of the money lavished by central government on Scotland and Wales I feel more English than British. Am I white, depends upon whether I have recently been on holiday? So do I tick the first box for 'English/Welsh/Scottish/Northern Irish/British and deny my Jewish roots or tick 'Any other White background' and write in Jewish thus identifying myself come the British pogroms? maybe I should scoot down to E - 'Other ethnic group' where 'Arab' is an option and put Jewish under 'Any other ethnic group'. It's a minefield, I think I'll put 'NOT RELEVANT'
Question 17 says 'This question is intentionally left blank' but that's not a question. Maybe I should write, this answer was deliberately left blank... but then it wouldn't have been; damn this is harder than it looks.
Question 10 asks how well I can speak English. I would say very well but then maybe not as well as Stephen Fry or Will Self. I think I'll put 'Very Well' and hope they don't set a test at a later date.
Question 20 asks 'What is your religion?'. Do I answer Jewish and thus identify myself to every anti-Semite who gets hold of this register. Will this mean that I have to paint a yellow star on my front door or will the Council do that for me? If I don't put Jewish then am I denying my birthright and reducing the official Jewish population. What is the point of a 'voluntary' question anyway?
I think I'll take a break there, this is tiring!
I got to Question 13 'How is your health in general?' The options being 'Very Good', 'Good', 'Fair', 'Bad' and 'Very Bad'
How do I answer that, it's a relative and subjective matter how my health is. Compared to who? Compared to Stephen Hawking I am very healthy, compared to Usain Bolt I am in dire shape. What do I answer here? I am a bit of a hypochondriac so of course when I read this question I start to feel ache in places that really shouldn't ache; my left knee seems a bit creakier than normal, I have a pain in my top right jaw etc. Do I answer 'Very Good' and potentially reduce the amount of money my local Health Authority gets from Central Government or do I answer 'Very Bad' and thus increase the amount of money that the government thinks it needs to take in taxation for the NHS? Or do I just tick 'Fair' and get on with it?
Oh dear now I have found the ethnicity questions, tricky... are Jews an ethnic group and/or a religious group? I am Jewish but I am also English. As a result of the money lavished by central government on Scotland and Wales I feel more English than British. Am I white, depends upon whether I have recently been on holiday? So do I tick the first box for 'English/Welsh/Scottish/Northern Irish/British and deny my Jewish roots or tick 'Any other White background' and write in Jewish thus identifying myself come the British pogroms? maybe I should scoot down to E - 'Other ethnic group' where 'Arab' is an option and put Jewish under 'Any other ethnic group'. It's a minefield, I think I'll put 'NOT RELEVANT'
Question 17 says 'This question is intentionally left blank' but that's not a question. Maybe I should write, this answer was deliberately left blank... but then it wouldn't have been; damn this is harder than it looks.
Question 10 asks how well I can speak English. I would say very well but then maybe not as well as Stephen Fry or Will Self. I think I'll put 'Very Well' and hope they don't set a test at a later date.
Question 20 asks 'What is your religion?'. Do I answer Jewish and thus identify myself to every anti-Semite who gets hold of this register. Will this mean that I have to paint a yellow star on my front door or will the Council do that for me? If I don't put Jewish then am I denying my birthright and reducing the official Jewish population. What is the point of a 'voluntary' question anyway?
I think I'll take a break there, this is tiring!
One thinks you're putting too much thought (and paranoia - anti-Semites getting hold of the register. I mean, come on...) into this. Fill it out and don't use it as some kind of platform to make baseless comments about anti-Semitism.
ReplyDeletePeter
Just chuck the whole thing in the bin.
ReplyDeleteIs there counselling available for this?
ReplyDelete