The Queen is to meet and shake hands with Martin McGuinness today, what on earth could they chat about? Here are some suggestions for questions the Queen could start with rather than the usual "So what do you do?"
1. "So what did you used to do?"
2. "Why do some people call you Martin 'machinegun' McGuinness?"
3. "Do the names Earl Mountbatten, Baroness Brabourne, Nicholas Knatchbull and Paul Maxwell mean anything to you?"
4. "Did you know of the plot to kill Earl Mountbatten before the murders took place?"
5. "Did you approve of or do nothing to prevent the plot to kill Earl Mountbatten from happening?"
6. "Did you know of or approve the murderous attack on the British Army at Warrenpoint on the same day?"
7. "Tell me Mr McGuinness how many people had the IRA murdered before Bloody Sunday?"
8. "Why were you carrying a Thompson submachine gun in Londonderry on Bloody Sunday?"
9. "What do you have to say to the Saville Inquiry conclusion that you had been 'engaged in paramilitary activity' on that day?"
10. "What do you have to say in reply to this extract from The Saville Inquiry paragraph R2A-4 of the Reply Closing Submission, 'the submission given by Martin McGuinness is 'simply incorrect' and 'flawed'?"
11. Following the Saviile Inquiry into the evnts of 'Bloody Sunday' do you think there should be an investigation into the Brighton bombing, a plot to kill as many members of the British Government as possible?"
12. "Did you have foreknowledge of or approve the Brighton bombing?"
13. "Did you discuss the Claudy bombings with Father Chesney?"
14. "Why did you claim in 2002 that you had never met Father Chesney, when in 2010 you then admitted that you had? Why should we believe this version of your story when you appear to have lied previously about the same matter?"
15. "Have all of the IRA's weapons been decommissioned? All of them?"
16. "When you were second in command of the IRA in Derry how many murders did you arrange or approve?"
17. "When you were second in command of the IRA in Derry how many people did you personally kill?"
18. "When exactly did you leave the IRA?'
19. "Was anyone killed in the circumstances you describe in this interview?"
20. "Will you now apologise to the relatives of all the people the IRA killed, I am one of those relatives Mr McGuinness?"
There you go, that should be enough topics of conversation to make sure that there are no awkward silences...
1. "So what did you used to do?"
2. "Why do some people call you Martin 'machinegun' McGuinness?"
3. "Do the names Earl Mountbatten, Baroness Brabourne, Nicholas Knatchbull and Paul Maxwell mean anything to you?"
4. "Did you know of the plot to kill Earl Mountbatten before the murders took place?"
5. "Did you approve of or do nothing to prevent the plot to kill Earl Mountbatten from happening?"
6. "Did you know of or approve the murderous attack on the British Army at Warrenpoint on the same day?"
7. "Tell me Mr McGuinness how many people had the IRA murdered before Bloody Sunday?"
8. "Why were you carrying a Thompson submachine gun in Londonderry on Bloody Sunday?"
9. "What do you have to say to the Saville Inquiry conclusion that you had been 'engaged in paramilitary activity' on that day?"
10. "What do you have to say in reply to this extract from The Saville Inquiry paragraph R2A-4 of the Reply Closing Submission, 'the submission given by Martin McGuinness is 'simply incorrect' and 'flawed'?"
11. Following the Saviile Inquiry into the evnts of 'Bloody Sunday' do you think there should be an investigation into the Brighton bombing, a plot to kill as many members of the British Government as possible?"
12. "Did you have foreknowledge of or approve the Brighton bombing?"
13. "Did you discuss the Claudy bombings with Father Chesney?"
14. "Why did you claim in 2002 that you had never met Father Chesney, when in 2010 you then admitted that you had? Why should we believe this version of your story when you appear to have lied previously about the same matter?"
15. "Have all of the IRA's weapons been decommissioned? All of them?"
16. "When you were second in command of the IRA in Derry how many murders did you arrange or approve?"
17. "When you were second in command of the IRA in Derry how many people did you personally kill?"
18. "When exactly did you leave the IRA?'
19. "Was anyone killed in the circumstances you describe in this interview?"
20. "Will you now apologise to the relatives of all the people the IRA killed, I am one of those relatives Mr McGuinness?"
There you go, that should be enough topics of conversation to make sure that there are no awkward silences...
When you shook the hand of Mrs Hegarty and promised her that her son would be safe to return to Londonderry, did you know he was going end up like this..
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