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The one hundred and sixty seventh weekly "No shit, Sherlock" award

This one is almost worthy of a special award, so obvious is it.

According to MSN 'Sex and alcohol make you happier than kids and religion, study finds'

"No shit, Sherlock"

Are you ashamed of being a banker? How ashamed?

In London I hear tell that some bankers are shy of admitting this. In Madrid I read that 'bankers have made some pitiful attempts to use their services by pretending to be engineers or architects.' In Madrid there is another reason why some bankers are hiding their chosen profession and according to Russia Today it is all down to another profession (the oldest profession):

'Madrid’s high-class escorts have found a way to regulate the Spanish banking sector. The ladies want to have their say in the economy by withholding sexual pleasures from bank employees.

The largest trade association for luxury escorts in the Spanish capital has gone on a general and indefinite strike on sexual services for bankers until they go back to providing credits to Spanish families, small- and medium-size enterprises and companies.

It all started with one of the ladies who forced one of her clients to grant a line credit and a loan simply by halting her sexual services until he “fulfills his responsibility to society.”

The trade association's spokeswoman praised their success by stressing the government and the Bank of Spain have previously failed to adjust the credit flow.

"We are the only ones with a real ability to pressure the sector," she stated. “We have been on strike for three days now and we don't think they can withstand much more.”

She has revealed that bankers have made some pitiful attempts to use their services by pretending to be engineers or architects.

“But they don't fool anyone since it has been many years since these professionals could afford rates that start from 300 euro an hour," she continued.

The bankers reportedly became so desperate that they even decided to call in the government for mediation.

The Mexican website SDPnoticias.com, which initially published the story, cites the Minister of Economy and Competitiveness as admitting that the lack of legislation regulating the escort sector makes it very difficult for the government to intercede in the conflict.

"In fact, there has not even been a formal communication of the strike — the escorts are making use of their right of admission or denying entry to…well, you know. So no one can negotiate," he was quoted as saying.'

A fascinating story that reminds me of the Aristophanes play Lysistrata in which one, Lysistrata, persuades the women of Greece to withhold sexual privileges from their husbands and lovers as a means of forcing the men to negotiate peace and thus end the Peloponnesian War.

Let's lighten the mood this Friday afternoon

A man goes to see his doctor:
"Doctor please help me I've got this problem...
My secretary just loves to give me blow jobs
Every morning when I get to work, I get a blow
job
She gives me a quick one before I leave for lunch
She even gives me a blow job before I leave work at the end of the day..."

"So what's the problem?" asks the doctor

The man replies:
"Well, you see my wife is sex-mad, I have to make love to her every morning when we wake up. Then at lunch time I have to nip home for a quickie and when I get home from work at the end of the day we have a two hour marathon love-making session before we go to sleep."

The doctor is bewildered "I still don't know what your problem is"

"Well doctor it's just that every time I masturbate - I get these dizzy spells!"

The one hundred and forty third weekly "No shit, Sherlock" award

This week's winner is as reported on Medical Express. It seems that:
'A new study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reveals medical evidence that women’s nipples stimulate the brain in the same way that genital stimulation does... A team of researchers at Rutgers University led by psychologist Barry Komisaruk, recruited 11 healthy women between the ages of 23 and 56. The women were placed in an fMRI scanner and asked to stimulate their cervix, nipple, clitoris and vagina with either a rhythmic finger tap or plastic dildo.
The brain images of the women revealed increased activity in the medial paracentral lobule for each area of stimulation, however each stimulated area was responsible for lighting up a specific region.

Stimulating a woman's nipples is pleasurable in the same way as stimulating a woman's genitals - "No shit, Sherlock"


And now if you'll excuse me I think Mrs NotaSheep and I need to conduct some more
experiments in this field of study...

Sexonomics 101: The economics of sex

A fascinating site

Sexonomics is a new system for confused logical types who despite all efforts fail to understand how male-female relations work. Far more useful than your university level micro and macroeconomic classes, sexonomics gives a general overview of sex, or what we here like to call the sexed up version of the economy; the sexonomy. Using simple principles like supply, demand, equilibrium, markets, and competition, we show how a theory of sexonomics can be used to make predictions and solve important real-world scenarios relevant to us all.

Here's an extract from The Law of Demand:

'Men understand the nature of demand better than women, because they're the ones who have to walk up and introduce themselves to girls and later initiate sex. A guy quickly learns that a girl isn't going to come up to him and ask him if he wants to do it. If he isn't proactive, then he won't get sex. This is because his sexuality is worth nothing to a girl relative to how much her sexuality is worth to him. He learns that he must demand, and she will supply when she so chooses.'

And here's one from The Law of Supply:

'Women realize around puberty that their sexuality is powerful, it has use value. By putting out, they learn that they can get a price because men want what they have. Their sexuality is a resource, something they conserve and give out only when they receive the right price for it. I'll talk about the intracacies of price later. Thus, women choose to supply sex rather than demand sex. '

For more economic theory made sexy take a trip to  Sexonomics

Tasteful?

Crown Jewels Condoms ask us to 'Lie back and think of England' as they announce that:

'To celebrate the engagement of Prince William of Wales to Ms. Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction has commissioned a unique heritage edition Royal Wedding Souvenir boîte de capotes.

Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Truly a King amongst Condoms.

* Presented in a timeless souvenir heirloom collector's box.
* Contains three individually wrapped condoms.
* Includes a collectable portrait of the Royal Couple as they might appear on their wedding day – exclusively created for Crown Jewels.'

Tasteful, very tasteful. And then the pretty unnecessary disclaimer:

'Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are not supplied to, or approved by, Prince William of Wales, Catherine Middleton or any member of the Royal Family.'

I am shocked!  And not just by the misspelling of collectible...

Also bear in mind that:

'Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.'

pardon my ignorance but other than preventing pregnancy or avoiding STDs why would you wear a condom? Patriotism excepted!

An obvious subtext?

It was reported over the weekend that according to a study by the University of Texas, half of men would forgive their female partner's infidelity so long as it was with another woman. I wonder if that percentage would increase if the men were allowed to watch?

"You go for the girls but you stay for the coffee. Or is it the other way around?"

Tejal Rao in The Atlantic visits a café con piernas in Santiago, Chile. These coffee shops are where 'the waitresses wear skimpy outfits (the name translates to "coffee with legs"). These coffee shops are a Chilean cultural phenomenon, varying in degrees of nudity. They don't serve alcohol and they maintain coffee shop hours, closing around 8 or 9 in the evening. At some, the waitresses look like dreamy flight attendants—tight, red shift dresses down to their knees. At others, the windows are blacked out, the walls mirrored, and the waitresses wear little more than underthings.'

Any chance of a few of these in London?

What is 'having sex'?

The Times of India reports on a Kinsey Institute opinion poll that has some interesting findings:

'95 per cent of respondents would consider penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) having had sex, but this rate drops to 89 per cent if there is no ejaculation.

81 per cent considered penile-anal intercourse having had sex, with the rate dropping to 77 per cent for men in the youngest age group (18-29), 50 per cent for men in the oldest age group (65 and up) and 67 per cent for women in the oldest age group.

71 per cent and 73 per cent considered oral contact with a partner's genitals (OG), either performing or receiving, as having had sex.

Men in the youngest and oldest age groups were less likely to answer 'yes' compared with the middle two age groups for when they performed OG.

Significantly fewer men in the oldest age group answered 'yes' for PVI (77 per cent). The study has been published in the international health journal Sexual Health.'

Was Bill Clinton asked  for his opinion?

"You're adorable, you're reliable but is your anus pliable?" - NSFW but fun

[x] adorable

[x] reliable

[?] ass bandit

More from Vancouver's The Wet Spots, if you would like to hear tracks such as "Fist Me This Christmas" and "Labia Limbo".

Condom or no condom

Condom, no condom? is an interactive video where you decide what happens. Just choose which button to click at the end of each section to continue the story.

The media are in an uproar, what do you think? I think it's a reponsible piece of realism for the 'Skins' generation but how many teens will actually watch it?

Jennifer Aniston & Courtney Cox

Jennifer Aniston & Courtney Cox kiss in 'Dirt'

'Doggers should be protected from hate crime police told...

'Doggers should be protected from hate crime, police told
Police have been ordered to protect doggers and arrest anyone suspected of committing a hate crime against people taking part in outdoor sex.'

The Telegraph have the details...

The perils of a dodgy '4' button

My Sky remote has a dodgy '4' button so to get to sport on 401 from the News channels (50x) I need to go to somewhere in the 380s and then go up the channels. So yesterday moving from Sky News to Sky Sports for the Ryder Cup I went to 383 Clubland TV and found myself watching this...



Rock Solid Mafia - 'Shake That Ass'


and it seems that girls in skimpy clothing is a regular feature on Clubland TV, I call Urban Myth - 'Africa' as my first witness...



Now you too can watch scantily clothed girls and listen to club music at Clubland TV

The difference between fellatio and inflation

French politician Rachida Dati has been forced to issue a public apology after confusing fellatio (oral sex on a man) with inflation. The 44-year-old former justice minister and MEP has been called ‘Rachida Barbie’ by her political opponents because of her supposed poor understanding of complicated political and economic issues.

On Sunday she was asked about overseas investment funds maybe profiteering during a period of economic uncertainty and said:

"I see some of them looking for returns of 20 or 25 per cent, at a time when fellatio is almost non-existent."

In French, fellatio is ‘fellation’, which sounds rather like inflation, which is the same in French as in English.

Miss Dati has apologised for her slip of the tongue (pun intended) saying on Facebook: ‘This kind of thing happens if you speak too quickly on this kind of programme.’


Of course fellatio is likely to bring about inflation but I suppose that after completion, deflation is likely to follow!



Thanks t The Mail for the spot.

The sexiest scene in any movie?

Salma Hayek's Vampire Dance from 'From Dusk to Dawn'

Any other suggestions? Apart from Rocky Horror related which has at least three...

I've had worse first dates!

Thanks to Theo Spark for the spot.

The elephant in the room re sexually transmitted 'infections'

The BBC Today programme in the big 8:10 spot were concerned about the rise of sexually transmitted infections amongst the young. Might the rise in people taking risks with their sexual health and then looking for treatment be linked to changing the description of the various conditions from 'sexually transmitted diseases' to 'sexually transmitted infections'?

The US ages of consent

The legal ages of consent (Restrictions apply) in US states - For the purpose of entertainment not legal advice.


Thanks to Boing Boing for the spot.