A slave!

Up until now I just couldn't bring myself to comment on Sepp Blatter's comments that modern footballers were victims of "modern slavery" or Cristiano Ronaldo's comments that he was being treated like a slave by Manchester United. The whole ridiculousness of the remarks left me unable to respond properly.

Today I see that The Daily Mash has covered the story with their usual aplomb:

"FOOTBALLER Cristiano Ronaldo is being lined up to star in a multi-million dollar remake of the epic TV series Roots.

Producers say the star's treatment at the hands of Manchester United make him the perfect choice to portray the young African slave who is beaten by his brutal masters.

The Portuguese winger said he had been traumatised by 'outrageous' demands that he honour the £125,000 a week, legally-binding contract, which has brought him only, misery, adulation and Gemma Atkinson.

Speaking from the titanium gazebo in the rose garden of his 31-room mansion, Ronaldo said: "I feel I can relate to the suffering of African slaves."

Do read the rest of "The Daily Mash" article, it captures the sheer lack of proportionality that this story shows.