"BRITAIN has run out of money, the man who prints it said last night."

The Daily Mash reports that:

"BRITAIN has run out of money, the man who prints it said last night.

Bank of England governor Mervyn King urged everyone to take his word for it and that if they didn't believe him he could show them the big room where he keeps it all.

Mr King's comments have put him on a collision course with prime minister Gordon Brown who last night insisted the Great Money Forest of Hampshire would soon be in bloom, promising a bumper harvest of ripe, crisp tenners.

...

A Downing Street spokesman said: "Everyone in the world agrees with the prime minister that we need to keep spending loads more money - except the Conservatives. And the Bank of England. And the CBI. And the French and the Germans and the European Central bank. Look just fuck off, alright?""