Sorry seems to be the hardest word

As sorry seems to be the hardest word for our crap Prime Minister to utter, put the words into his mouth at Sorry From Gordon. My version of his apology would read:

"I am writing to you today to admit responsibility for the economic problems facing Britain.

I have let you down. Because of my economic mismanagement, Britain entered the recession with the worst budget deficit in the developed world.

Rather than helping hard-working families, I ran the economy in a way that would help the lucky traders who bought the gold I flogged at rock-bottom prices.

I have also misled you. I claimed to have abolished boom and bust but that was a whopping great massive lie.

I claimed to have saved the world - that was a total fantasy.

So today, I feel duty bound to say sorry because Britain is on the brink of bankruptcy and it’s all my fault.

And don't worry - I really do have a cunning plan to save Britain. It involves running around like a headless chicken.

Yours insincerely,
Gordon Brown"