I know yesterday was a Friday, but in London it was definitely 'Tit Tuesday'

But what is Tit Tuesday, I hear you ask.

'Originally Posted by boardinwork

Ahhh Tit Tuesday. It's not that far off now gentlemen. Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know? That glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Dart, or sitting on the Luas, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers (no, not your mobile) that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate or a colleague that reads: “At last, Tit Tuesday!” And you instantly understand why you are so happy.

For Tit Tuesday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes hens getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin. After months of dull colours and chunky knits, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (the recession means they've not had a chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk. In other words – it’s about to become a flesh-fest out there lads.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road... and you know it is nearly summer.

You’ve heard of the X-Factor, well how about the W-Factor? If going to college taught me anything it’s that Marketing can be summed up by the 4Ps – Product, Price, Place and Promotion. If getting hitched taught me anything it’s that diamonds can be summed up by the 4Cs – Cut, Clarity, Carat and Colour. Well lads, if Tit Tuesday has taught me anything it’s that boobies, bajongas and airbags can be summed up by the 4Ws – Weight, Width, Wobbly-ness and my personal favourite Would ya?-ness.

For previous,the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For the rest, the young uns - it is Tit Tuesday.

Not that it always falls on a Tuesday. Easy there tiger. Like Easter, Tit Tuesday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Wednesday. 23rd April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. As I’m sure most of you are aware, ya scamps, it last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Tuesday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the hens are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardy (a mistake they will not make again until next year so savour it), so that when they're all standing out the back of the pub after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a Lionel Richie gig in the O2 where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Tuesday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates or colleagues with the announcement? Do not shoot your load too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Tuesday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.

As the Dalai Lama once famously said: One bold Talbot Street slapper in a bikini top doth not a summer make.'

In London on Friday 23 March it was definitely Tit Tuesday, I love the Spring!