Carving the turkey

I read that "A 200-year-old book has recently been discovered detailing the traumas faced by the head of the table when preparing and carving the bird, and giving crucial advice on how to get it right and impress your guests. It says manners and etiquette are vital, and the ability to carve with "ease and grace" gains great respect among fellow diners. On no account must the carver stand up while doing the deed, but must always have a chair high enough to do the job commandingly. Any attempt to hack at the turkey will end in guests being "bespattered" and so should be avoided."

Thankfully myself and Mrs NotaSheep will be sitting down to a nice goose later today; much tastier than turkey and more traditionally English.


"Choice cuts should always be handed out evenly around the table, unless people of a "superior rank" are present."

Mrs NotaSheep is far superior to me and so she can have whatever choice cut she desires"


"But it also reveals that turkey was not the most popular choice for Christmas dinner. It fell some way behind the favourites: a boiled cod's head or half a calf's head."

Hmm, I think we will still stick with goose, maybe St John's could add calf's head to their pig's head starter.


"The 18th Century book, The Art of Carving, written in 1791 by Rev John Trusler, was found during a house clearance and sold by auctioneer Charles Hanson."