So there’s only one thing for it. We must send for Jeeves.

Hopisen asks "What would Bertie Wooster do?" and answers most amusingly, here's an extract:

"For years we have been told that the money markets were the reserve of testosterone fueled machismo. Banks and Finance houses were staffed by growling masters of universes. Now we discover that these unrivalled ubermensch of finance are mere milk-sops clinging to nurse’s skirts as they bawl their little eyes out. Like Roderick Spode, one only has to murmur “Eulalie” to them and they collapse in a heap."

Do yourself a favour and read the whole piece.