Eurovision 2010

1. Azerbaijan - Drip Drop - the bookie's favourite - Nice legs, up there with Amy Pond. Very Beyonce, just the sort of funky power ballad that I dislike, but what do I know? Sung in English.

2. Spain - now that's Eurovision and dire but at least sung in Spanish.

3. Norway - bit Andrew Lloyd Webberish and terrible and sung in English, what's wrong with Norwegian?

4. Moldova - gypsy fiddling - wasn't that 2008 and nice eye makeup. Tim Curry has better looking legs in suspenders than that female 'singer' - sung in English...

5. Cyprus - Best so far, like a decent boy band ballad. Not sure about the male backing singer though... Almost had me singing along with it by the end! Sung in English

6. Bosnia and Herzegovina - Looks like Will Young, sounds like Robbie Williams, dire power pop ballad- Sung in English

7. Belgium - boy and guitar ballad - Sung in English

8. Serbia - More weird gypsy music and a weirder singer - Balkan, Balkan, Balkan come on - sung in English and ? - This is weirdest yet and sung by Martina Navratilova's lovechild?

9. Belarus - group features 'Robert Wells' not a very Belarus name. Sung in English. Pretty ballad, blondes have weird hair flick style, love the butterfly dresses! I have a god-daughter who I can sense squealing from some miles away.

10. Ireland - Mrs NotaSheep would like to say that this singer is the spitting image of Charlie Dimmock but with less bust bounce, sung in English. OK'ish

11. Greece - Can they afford to send a group? Very Greek music, Is that Russell Crowe or Jason Statham lead-singing? Sung in Greek. If Greece win could the costs of hosting the show next year bankrupt them?

12. UK - so we'll allow sung in English. Pretty boy. At least girl backing singers are not wearing the ridiculous large pants they did in the song for Europe competition. Catchy song from an Essex boy, Mrs NotaSheep wonders if an Essex boy should not be wearing white shoes.

13. Georgia - Ballad sung in English, rather theatrical, but nice tonsils.

14. Turkey - Sung in English. Has he been listening to American prog rock? 'For just one night we can be the same' did he really rhyme 'word' and 'stage'? Dreadful, it'll probably win!

15. Albania - more bloody violin and sung in English. It's catchy' so's the flu.

16. Iceland - Hera Bjork, clubby beginning - sung in English - this will not win and if it does 'see Greece'

17. Ukraine - 'Sweet People' - Is this a Scottish Videos advert? - Sung in English - Is that Kira from 'This Life'?

18. France - at least they will sing in their own language - I can see this as a World Cup song, nice 'grinding' and pelvic thrusting, and bottom spanking and some Haka; this song has everything... very catchy this could win

19. Romania - another sung in English - Is that Shania Twain? That high note jusyt gave me a headache! Catchy but also annoying.

20. Russia - 'like it or loathe it' - sung in English - oh my god definitely 'loathe' Possibly the worst tonight but I am sure lots of votes from former USSR countries...

21. Armenia - chesty girl singing to a giant apricot stone; that's entertainment! - sung in English - Mrs NotaSHeep thinks she a) looks like Angelie Jolie and b) is a 'pretty girl actually'. A song about apricot stones, truly Europe can never be one entity!

22. Germany - In the style of 'Lily Allen' is she Graham, I'll be the judge of that! Sung in English. Mrs NotaSheep thinks this could do quite well. I say she's OK but she's no Lily Allen. Weird accent, is that what a German 'doing' cockney sound like?Very Dick van Dyke!

23. Portugal - sung in Portuguese - Very very forgettable

24. Israel - sung in Hebrew - powerful singer but Hebrew is not a pretty language too many guttural chhh sounds and a bit of a whine near the end.

25. Denmark - Every Breath You Take? Has Gordon Sumner been paid a royalty. Sung in English.

Spain re-going... I'll be honest I missed the original performance as I was dishing up dinner. I'm not happy to have to watch this at all. Bloody circus music but at least song is in Spanish.

So that's only 5 songs not sung in English. Or alternatively just 7 songs sung in the language of the country they are representing.


Whilst we await the voting, here's the French song's official video with the promised bikinis...



My top 4:
France
Cyprus
Germany
Belarus



Security guards are a bit pushy!

Now the voting but life's too short to report it like I did last year, I am too close to sleep and Mrs NotaSeep is already asleep. So first a reminder of here's last year's voting, I wonder if the Scandinavian countries will give each other 8, 10 & 12, if the Balkan countries will show surprising solidarity, if Malta will give the UK 12, if the ex-Warsaw Pact countries vote highly for each other, if Greece give very little to Turkey, if Cyprus give 12 to Greece and of course if Germany give 8 or more to Turkey.


For a more intellectual outlook on Eurovision take a look at this: 'Toward an understanding of the Eurovision Song Contest: A brief survey of the extant literature'


Top 5 after voting:
Germany
Turkey
Romania
Denmark
Azerbaijan



My top 4:
France
Cyprus
Germany
Belarus

So just Germany appear in both my list and the actual result; and yes the UK have finished last.

A German Lily Allen wins Eurovision! I'd rather listen to the real thing though.