Friday, 5 October 2007

An English Haka

Waking Hereward has a great idea for an English type Haka, maybe we could institute it at the Six Nations and the Next World Cup; our participation in this World Cup seems doomed to end on Saturday afternoon against Australia.

"So what sort of Haka should we have then? Should we whip out the Morris Dancing gear and give them a quick 'Hey-Nonny-Nonny' straight between the eyes? Should we bring a Union Flag with us, so when they start their Haka, we can transfix their captain with the flag staff and claim their islands for the British Empire?..

Probably not.

Then I thought of our history - the version of it that is B.L.L. (Before Lying Labour). Back to the time of Henry V and an epic battle on a foreign field. A battle of courage and daring-do in which the English, outnumbered by a zillion-to-one slaughtered the posh, la-de-dah French on the field of Agincort.

Before the battle, the French has threatened to cut off the first two fingers, (the 'draw' fingers which an archer uses to pull his bow-string) of every English bowman they could find. According to tradition, the English archers heard about this and stood behind their wooden spikes waving their two fingers in the air towards the mounted French Knights. The two fingered salute was born.

It was a taunting insult too far for the French. They charged headlong towards the English line - a gory death and a shattering defeat soon followed as the mighty 'Bodkin' arrowhead propelled by the awesome English long bow did its deadly work..."


Yes, I reckon the sight of 15 beefy Englishmen all performing the two fingered salute would do the job just right..... especially against the French.

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