The Telegraph seem not to care about accuracy any more

Michael Henderson in The Telegraph writes about Steve Harmison's shortcomings but also makes a horrendous mistake in his reporting.

"Bopara, Bell and Collingwood at Nos 3, 4 and 5 does not inspire the same confidence as, say, Cowdrey, Dexter, and Barrington. Or Vaughan, Hussain and Thorpe. Or Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb."

That is just so inaccurate, number 3,4 and 5 in the Trumpton Fire Brigade order are "Barney McGrew, Cuthbert and Dibble", Grubb was at best a number 6 and some would say lucky to even play there as his standard shot was somewhat wooden.

Here's "Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grub" and Captain Flack, a more charismatic leader than Andrew Strauss.



And of course that does give me the excuse to once again post Half Man, Half Biscuit's "Trumpton Riots"




All together now:

"Unemployments rising
In the Chigley end of town.
And it's speading like pneumonia;
Doesn't look like going down.
There's trouble at the fire station;
Someone's had the sack.
And the lads are going to launch a scheme
To get rid of Captain Flack.

Tell PC McGarry
To get himself a mate.
And arm themselves with C. S. Gas
They're gonna be out late.
We've had calm conformers in since 1966.
And now subversions in the air
In the shape of flying bricks!

Chorus:
Someone get a message through
To Captain Snort
That they better start assembling
The boys from the fort.
Keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
'Cause there's gonna be riot
Down in Trumpton Tonight.

All this aristocracy
Has really got to stop.
We'll overthrow the surgery
And kidnap Doctor Mop
And Chicley Militant Socialists
Will storm the market square
And make plans to assasinate
Our autocratic mayor!

Windy Militant rages past
With Corn grinders to war
With windmill sails and bombs with nails
They smash the town hall door.
But Snorty and the boys arrive
With one big erstwhile (?) crew
Whereupon they bring about
A military coup.

Chorus x 2 "