David and Ed Miliband - 'Two little boys'

'Two little boys had two little toys
A hammer, and a sickle too
Gaily they played each summer's day
Socialists through and through

One little chap then had a mishap
Off came his hammer's head
Wept for his tool - naive young fool
As his older brother said

"Did you think I would start you crying
With one swing of my sickle true
Don't you stammer, it's just a hammer
I'm much more sly than you

When we grow up we'll both be MPs
And we'll rise up above the noise
Just remember that you're the younger
Though we're just two little boys"

Long years passed, Brown quit at last
Burnham's hopes fade away
Abbott too loud
Balls mad and proud
Must be a brother's day

Up rang a shout, result's finally out
Out from the ranks so red
David's bid crashed, all hopes are dashed
Then came the voice of Ed -

"Did you think I would leave you dying
When I can stick the knife in too
Cry your tears, bro, the unions picked me
Though the membership wanted you

You just took the result for granted
One banana skin's wrecked your poise
Never thought once that I'd remember
When we were two little boys" '

Thanks to Cazzy Jones for that piece of sheer brilliance; obviously to be sung to the tune of that great tearjerker 'Two Little Boys', made famous by the one and only Rolf Harris.

Here's Rolf...


and here's Sinéad O'Connor!