Are you annoyed by some players' grunting and screaming on court at Wimbledon?

Vanity Fair have a marvelous soundboard for you to play with... for me it showed that Maria Sharapova, as yesterday, is worthy only of second place, losing out in this instance to Michelle Larcher De Brito. A match between Sharapova and De Brito would be either ear-splitting or pornographic.

Are you going to Wimbledon today?

Are you going to Wimbledon today? Do you have tickets for Court Number 1? Do you want Laura Robson to win her match? Do you think that there is more than a touch of gamesmanship about Maria Sharapova's 'grunts' after she has hit the ball?

If you have answered yes to all of those four questions then why not follow Alex Masterley's advice and '... grunt just as Sharapova goes to hit the ball.'

The one hundred and thirty-sixth weekly "No shit, Sherlock" award

I know two in one day is hardly weekly but I did miss a week recently.

The Telegraph report:

'Exclusive: female tennis players who grunt too loudly are putting off their opponents and spoiling the game for the millions of spectators, the head of Wimbledon said yesterday.'

Loud grunts from lady tennis players are putting off spectators; "No shit, Sherlock"

I can only watch Maria Sharapova with the sound off.

A most worrying rumour

I am most concerned as word has reached me that Maria Sharapova is planning on playing Wimbledon this year... in shorts. The summer is already rumoured to be a wet and depressing one, so a glimmer of glamour is required.