How to survey public opinion to get the answer you want per Yes Prime Minister

Sheer genius, so well written and true- How to skew an opinion poll.

In other words... Merry Christmas

"I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice... as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average."

As Sir Humphrey put it so memorably in Yes Minister.

In other words... Merry Christmas

"I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice... as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average."

As Sir Humphrey put it so memorably in Yes Minister.

A leak enquiry

"To leak is one of the irregular verbs; I make unattributable briefings, you leak, he is charged under Section 30 of the Offical Secrets Act."

Yes Minister as always told the truth as well as made us laugh.

The ratchet effect/salami tactics

When commenting on today's PMQs earlier today, I live-blogged

"Labour MP worried that the 42 days will apply to more than just terrorists and asks Gordon Brown for assurance. Exceptional and grave terrorist threat. We all know that once on the statute book it could be extended - salami tactics..."

devils Kitchen makes a similar point but rather more deftly, well he had the time to consider his posting...:

"In the meantime, it seems that our government can't be entirely fucking brainless since they have learned, presumably from the EU, how the "ratchet" mechanism works. After all, once you can hold anyone for any length of time without charge, it isn't really a further assault on civil liberties, eh?

I mean, you've already surrendered the absolute principle, so 72 hours is fine, yes?

Oh, we'd like 14 days: what's that? An assault on civil liberties? Well, surely if civil liberties were so important, you wouldn't have allowed us 72 hours. After all, it's the principle that counts, eh?

Come to think of it, 28 days would be far better; yes, 28 days with the option to extend it further if a judge agrees. What? No, come on: don't pull that civil liberties schtick again; not after you let us have 14 days.

Of course, if we could just have 42 days and make the order scrutinised by Parliament, not the judges, that would be even better. Well, come on: you really cannot bleat about civil liberties at this stage...

You see? A ratchet effect: it always goes forward into more illiberal territory, and never back again."

The ratchet effect, the salami slice - all favourite EU tactics, now copied by our Labour government.


See the "Yes Prime Minister" episode called "The Grand Design" for the (I believe) original usage of the phrase "salami tactics". The argument ran something like:

The matter under discussion was a hypothetical Russian invasion of Western Europe and when would Jim Hacker (the fictional Prime Minister) press the red button. The idea being that you would only press the nuclear trigger if you have no choice - but salami tactics mean you are never in the position where you clearly have no choice. The Russians would take a small slice at a time via dubious but not too provocative measures until the whole salami is gone.

The original examples ran:

G=General
P=Prime Minister, James 'Jim' Hacker

"G - ...if they try anything, it will be salami tactics.

P - Salami tactics?

G - Slice by slice. One small piece at a time. So will you press the button if they invade West Berlin?

P - It all depends.

G - On what?

Scenario one.

Riots in West Berlin, buildings in flames.

East German fire brigade crosses the border to help. Would you press the button...?

The East German police come with them. The button...?

Then some troops, more troops just for riot control, they say.

And then the East German troops are replaced by Russian troops. Button...?

Then the Russian troops don't go.

They are invited to stay to support civilian administration.

The civilian administration closes roads and Tempelhof Airport.

Now you press the button?

P - I need time to think about it.

G - You have 12 hours.

P - Have I?

...


G - Scenario two.

The Russian army accidentally on purpose cross the West German frontier.

Is that the last resort?

P - No.

G - Right, scenario three.

Suppose the Russians have invaded West Germany, Belgium, Holland, France?

Suppose their tanks and troops have reached the English Channel and are poised to invade?

Is that the last resort?

P - No.

Why not?

We'd only fight a nuclear war to defend ourselves. That would be committing suicide!

So what is the last resort? Piccadilly? Watford Gap service station? The Reform Club?"

Newspaper readers

From Yes Minister via Theo Spark:

Jim Hacker:
Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:
The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;
The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;
The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;
The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;
The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;
The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;
And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey:
Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?

Bernard Woolley:
Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.





Yes Minister has many explanations for today's politics and I may quote from these occasionally from now on.