I am not a sheep, I have my own mind
I have had enough of being told what and how to think
Whilst we are still allowed the remnants of free speech, I will speak out.
I also reserve the right to discuss less controversial matters should I feel the urge.
I sat through the last ever BBC Jonathan Ross Show last night and was bored by his interview with Mickey Rourke, amused by his interview with Jackie Chan and quite impressed by how mature David Beckham was in his interview and I also enjoyed the sight and sound of Four Poofs and a Piano singing "When I Think About You, I Touch Myself" on David Beckham's entrance. But what I was really looking forward to was seeing Roxy Music as I was thinking of purchasing tickets for their upcoming For Your Pleasure tour dates at the O2. I have seen quite a bit of pre-tour publicity and was lead to believe that the original Roxy Music line-up would be touring for the first time in many years. However whilst the line-up included Bryan Ferry, saxophonist & oboeist(?) Andy Mackay, guitarist Phil Manzanera and drummer Paul Thompson, I could see no Brian Eno (sparkly gloves or not) and no Rik Kenton on bass. The performance of 'Virginia Plain' and 'Love is the Drug' were fine but there was no magic, so here's that definitive Top Of The Pops performance from 1972... Mrs NotaSheep thinks the drummer (Paul Thompson) is very pretty and we both wonder what has happened to the incredibly untrendy member of the audience seen dancing at 2:32-2:35.
'Make me a deal and make it straight All signed and sealed I'll take it To Robert E. Lee I'll show it I hope and pray he don't blow it 'cause We've been around a long time just try try tryin' to Make make the big time...
Take me on a roller coaster Take me for an airplane ride Take me for a six days wander but don't you Don't you throw away my pride aside besides What's real and make believe Baby Jane's in Acapulco We're flyin' down to Rio
Throw me a line I'm sinking fast Clutching at straws can't make it Havana sound we're trying hard edge the hipster jiving Last picture show's down the drive-in You're so sheer you're so chic Teenage rebel of the week
Flavors of the mountain streamline Midnight blue casino floors Dance the cha-cha through til sunrise Open up exclusive doors oh wow! Just like flamingos look the same So me and you, just we two got to reach for something new
Far beyond the pale horizon Some place near the desert strand Where my Studebaker takes me That's where I'll make my stand but wait Can't you see that Holzer mane What's her name Virginia Plain'
Following their performance on the Jonathan Ross show last night here is a video of the song they performed - "I cant believe that you would fall for all the crap in this song"
And also from the "Exotic Creatures of the Deep" album here is "Lighten Up, Morrissey"
And finally from Sky's "The Basement" here's "Good Morning" listen to the lyrics...
I believe this song is meant to be Russell playing the ageing lothario recalling what is sure to be the last one-night stand of his life with a woman who will have other lovers:
"Good morning Who are you? I woke up and saw you I'm dreaming, still dreaming My life is now about to have some meaning
Good morning I'm thinking I must have Been drinking And said something clever It must have been the best line from me ever
Thank you, God, for something rare as this What surely must have been a holy night of bliss Gratitude for having thought of me I know your time is tight, and yet you thought of me
Good morning You woke up Got dressed up Hair messed up While I fix you breakfast I hope it's just your laugh that is infectious
Good morning In sorrow I know that Tomorrow You'll be with some winner Who's richer, younger, maybe even thinner
Rubles in the bank and petrol in the tank of some Mercedes Benz Who spends and spends and spends on booked up restaurants A thousand phony fronts But will he ever wish you a good morning?
Thank you, God, for something rare as this What surely must have been a holy night of bliss Gratitude for having thought of me I know your time is tight, and yet you thought of me
And did I stumble have a fall, Hit my head against a wall At some point did we trade vows? Are you just some high-priced service from uptown?
Good morning Buon giorno Ohayo, Buenas dias Hey, where you going? Hey, where you going? Does dasvedonya really mean good morning?
Please spare me derision I'll do my rendition A lengthy recital Of every song with foolish in the title
Good morning Good morning
Good morning I need you, I need you Who are you?"
And in case you couldn't catch the earlier songs, here's the lyrics for "Lighten Up, Morrissey"
"She won´t go out with me no she won´t go out ´Cause my intellect´s paper thin She won´t go out with me no she won´t go out Since my intellect´s not like him
So lighten up Morrissey
She won´t hang out with me no she won´t hang out ´Til my biting wit bites like his She won´t hang out with me no she won´t hang out ´Til my quick retort´s quick as his
So lighten up Morrissey?Lighten up lighten up Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey
She won´t have sex with me no she won´t have sex ´Less it´s done with a pseudonym She won´t do sport with me no she won´t do sport Says it´s way way too masculine look at him
So lighten up Morrissey?Lighten up lighten up Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey
I got comparisons coming out my ears And she never can hit the pause If only Morrissey weren´t so Morrisseyesque She might overlook all my flaws
So lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up So lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey´ Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey She won´t dine out with me no she won´t dine out Says my t-bone steak is at fault She won´t dine out with me no she won´t dine out With a murderer pass the salt
Lighten up lighten up Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up
Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey Lighten up lighten up Lighten up Morrissey"
Sparks, Ron and Russell Mael, more talented than almost all of the current crop of pop acts put together, and certainly wittier.
And here is, in my view, their finest moments:
Number One Song in Heaven - the Plagiarism album version
Number One Song in Heaven - the Plagiarism album version - videoed live at the Carling Academy on 7th June 2008 and including the return of Jimmy Somerville
Excellent work - Ross and Brand as Brady and Hindly. The media over reaction has been extreme, but I can't help think that the BBC have emphasised this story to draw attention away from Peter Mandelson and Gordon Brown's troubles.
The BBC continue to lead with the in-house story rather than Gordon Brown's avoidance of answering David Cameron's question at yesterday's PMQs or Peter Mandelson's refusal to four times answer a simple question about whether he discussed cutting tariffs with Mr Deripaska.
I wonder why the BBC have chosen these priorities for their news coverage.
The great diversion that is the Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand story is now headline news on the BBC. Apparently
"The BBC suspends Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand following the Radio 2 prank phone calls row."
Presumably the BBC would rather lead on this story than the latest economic disasters, the latest Peter Mandelson stories or any negative news about Barack Obama.
Various sites are now showing some "details" of Georgina Baillie aka Voluptua, Andrew Sachs' granddaughter and the subject of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross's "humour". If you want to see what the fuss is about then Right Celebrity and The Daily Mail may be of assistance, as could Quintessential comedy. Alternatively, you could go straight to Voluptua's page Satanic Sluts where you will learn that Voluptua has Vital Stats of 36 26 36 (666) 5"5 and:
"Likes: Cock rock, Cage dancing, Making vampire films, Chocolate covered strawberries, Being alone sometimes, Being in good company, Piercings, Leather jackets
Dislikes: Shallow people, Narrow minded people, Chavs who yell things at me, Having to sell out to earn money, Public transport, Dead fish
Kinks: Forcefulness, Gentleness."
You will also find some photos that may not be safe for work (NSFW) but oddly appear not to be blocked by my content filtering software.
Regardless of how Georgina Baillie chooses to make her living, what Brand and Ross said was highly reprehensible and beyond decent limits.
My humble apologies for misspelling granddaughter as grandaughter in my original title for this piece. Interestingly this mistake has resulted in a large number of hits on this piece as a google.co.uk search for "Andrew Sachs grandaughter" puts this blog at position 2. Maybe I have stumbled on a trick to get up the Google rankings, using plausible misspellings!
Update: It appears that Google takes account of misspellings and I am at position 2 for Google searches for "Andrew Sachs granddaughter" as well. This is interesting and also means that as at 18:25 tonight (28 October) I have over 100 people "on" this blog, virtually all looking at this page. I am conflicted; whilst I appreciate the traffic, this is a serious political blog not a scandal sheet. New visitors, maybe you could assuage my feelings of guilt by reading a couple of my political articles whilst you are here...
Should someone take a read of the following extract from the Malicious Communications Act 1988 Section 1 as amended by Section 43 Criminal Justice and Police Act 2001. It applies to offences committed from the 11th May 2001 onwards
"(1) Any person who sends to another person (a) a letter, electronic communication or article of any description which conveys (i) a message which is indecent or grossly offensive (ii) a threat or (iii) information which is false and known or believed to be false by the sender or (b) any article or electronic communication which is, in whole or part, of an indecent or grossly offensive nature, is guilty of an offence if his purpose, or one of his purposes, in sending it is that it should, so far as falling within paragraph (a) or (b) above, cause distress or anxiety to the recipient or to any other person to whom he intends that it or its contents or nature should be communicated.
(2) A person is not guilty of an offence by virtue of subsection (1)(a)(ii) above if he shows (a) that the threat was used to reinforce a demand made by him on reasonable grounds and (b) that he believed, and had reasonable grounds for believing, that the use of the threat was a proper means of reinforcing the demand.
(2A) In this section 'electronic communication' includes _ (a) any oral or other communication by means of a telecommunication system(within the meaning of the Telecommunications Act 1984 (c12));
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Not long before someone makes a formal complaint to the police I would have thought?"
Read The Mail's article about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross's evil hoax calls to Andrew Sachs and wonder why the BBC pay these foul mouthed "entertainers" the fortunes that they do, in our name.
"The BBC could face prosecution over obscene phone calls that Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand made to 78-year-old Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs.
The controversial presenters left a series of lewd messages on Mr Sachs’s answerphone claiming, in shockingly explicit language, that Brand had had sex with his granddaughter, Georgina."
The last line of the article sums up the attitude of these "entertainers":
"Brand’s spokesman said they had nothing to add to the BBC’s comments, while Jonathan Ross’s agent did not return calls."
Jonathan Ross can be funny and his film reviews are fairly watchable but he is not as funny nor as clever as he thinks he is, and he is certainly massively overpaid by the BBC. Russell Brand makes Jonathan Ross look talented.
