Thursday, 27 September 2007

They do love HMV at the BBC

The BBC's positive coverage of everything Gordon Brown says or does is reaching new levels. Take a look at this "sketch" by Nick Assinder and try to keep your last meal down. Headlined "Gordon the tease melts Mariella" the more interesting extracts run as follows (my comments in italics):

"Tony Blair may have flirted outrageously and Bill Clinton may have mesmerised with his louche charisma."
No mention of any right of centre flirters then, I wonder why?

"But when it comes to turning grown women into stammering jellies, Gordon Brown, it appears, is your man."
Is this real, or part of the decided "narrative" that Gordon Brown is a sex symbol for women. It must be footage like this that turns them on -

"Mariella Frostrup, not normally known as a pushover, seemed to come over all unnecessary when she hosted a question-and-answer session with the prime minister at the Labour conference."
Mariella has several good qualities but is she renowned a hard questioner, I think not. In fact I would have said that her career had been based largely upon flirting with male guests.

"You might think she would have become immune to the PM's entirely unintentional charms by now - after all, she is a family friend."
Or you might think that as a family friend and occasional actress it would be in her interest to act "all unnecessary". You might also winder why the BBC use a Gordon Brown supporter to host this Q&A at the Labour conference.

"But no. Her normally composed TV persona slipped as she introduced the prime minister with just one giggle too many and then, after around the third mention of his official title, gasped: "I shall lapse into 'Gordon' shortly, I am sure." "
Well she is a family friend so I doubt she calls him anything but Gordon over a family lunch.

"Mr Brown treated the question with precisely the same weight as he did all those which followed."
Mr Brown doesn't have much light and shade in his speaking, just solidity and a fake smile.

"Ms Frostrup asked Mr Brown about the election date
He promised his answer would be shorter than the question - and quite dramatically failed to deliver.

He then led us into a sort of extended state of deja vu as we listened again to his favourite jokes (very good but not worth this amount of retelling) and some lengthy expositions of the policies we had already had explained from the conference floor over the past few days."
Gordon Brown's favourite tactic for years has been to bombard his audience with figures, lots of figures, so many figures until the audience a)can no longer process information, b) forget what the question was and/or c) lose the will to live. Gordon has now added the trick of repeating the same phrases over and over and over and over and over again, it saves thinking of new things to say and he has learnt the key phrases very well indeed; in New Labour Britain, this is known as foreplay.

"Mr Brown ruled out a referendum on the EU treaty and abolishing the remaining grammar schools, and he again said he wanted to "reach out" to supporters and even members of other parties to join his crusade for a better Britain."
We are nearing the formation of a one party state in England which is just what the BBC want.

"By the way, all this reaching-out talk has sparked rumours there are some more Tories being lined up to defect to Labour - perhaps at the start of next week's Conservative party conference."
You think? Gordon Brown will do all that he can to ensure that the "narrative" at the Conservative party conference will be negative - splits, defections and discontent to contrast with the joy abounding at the Labour party conference; the BBC will set the mood music beautifully.

"Then, after a much longer time than anyone had expected, Ms Frostrup brought proceedings to a close with something along the lines of: "I know you could sit here and chat all day, but some of us have jobs to go to.""
Really Mariella, what is your current day job?

"But then, as the sound of scores of chair legs scraping on the floor filled the centre as delegates prepared to exit, she landed a corker.

"So when will the general election be then?" Ms Frostrup asked.

Silence reigned.

"Charming as you are, Mariella, the first person I would have to talk to is the Queen," came the reply.

Oh Gordon, you are awful. And a terrible tease."
Tease, hmmm, fat fraudulent liar more like.

HMV = His Masters Voice

If you want to read a more "pungent" critique of the relationship between the BBC and Gordon Brown shown by the Mariella Frostrup interview then you could take a look at The Devil's Kitchen: The Gobblin' Lothario.

If you have a strong stomach you might even read this earlier article about Gordon Brown's sex appeal to both women and gay men.

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